Today was a day of realization for me. I came to the sobering thought that the kids that are in my care today could grow up, become school aged, and then leave for reunification with their birth families. I can't imagine having to say goodbye to a child that I've had in my care for three, four or five years. We're talking a kindergarten aged child that has been with a family since birth, and having them leave our home to go to their "real" home.
I mean, I could dig very deep into my "Christian" bag of thoughts & pull out a deep thought like, "But aren't we all misplaced children until we reach our final "home" in heaven..." But let's just get real for a moment. This stinks!
I've often dealt with the raw feelings of the unknown of being a foster parent, but I haven't come face to face with the brutal truth that the children's best interest aren't really what is being considered if the above scenario takes place. It's a crazy thought, isn't it?
Here is another one. I've had one child since they were only a few days old. Let's use this hypothetical scenario that plays over and over each day in our court systems. I will teach this baby to roll over, to then sit, eventually walk, talk and run. This child will call me, Mommy, and my husband will be, Daddy. If we move, so will they. When the child is sick, I come to their aide. I will register the child for any schooling, make lunches, teach them to tie their shoes, and I may be lucky enough to see their first tooth lost. However, in all that time, I could get a phone call to pack their bags and to send them on their way.
How does one prepare a child, much less oneself, for this kind of blow? How will and do I prepare their siblings for such a blow? We'll be mourning the loss of a family member, for in most cases, you never really hear from these children or their family's again. Forgive me for my bluntness, here, but it is almost ALMOST like having a terminally ill child. You know that your time may be cut short, but you just have no time frame to go on. You cry a lot, thinking about the day that they'll leave you. You want to do everything with and for them because you just don't know how much longer they'll be with you. You're not exactly sure about where they'll be going, but you do know that you'll miss them like crazy. At least, in death, you know that they are "safe" and at rest. You know that they are in a better place. It isn't the same, but it is the closest example that I can grasp.
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